(This post originally appeared on my old site, shiningself.com)
I’ve been going through some amazing things since my move out here to the West Coast. Well, I started going through some amazing change (aka inner work/self-growth) back in Michigan over the last several years, but the last few months I’ve really stepped up my game or something because whoah, I’m on FIRE… 😉
No, but seriously the last several months have been AMAZING!
Not long ago, I shared about how I started questioning old stories, especially about fear, and since then it’s like I have a new lease on life. Because suddenly I’m not holding myself back by those old stories! I’m trying so many new things and stepping so outside of my comfort zone.
It was during a recent conversation that someone asked me:
“What changed for you? What made you start living so fearlessly?”
Those were easy questions to answer!
- What changed for me? I did.
- What made me start living fearlessly? Me (and I’m definitely not void of fear – that’s still a thing lol!) And of course the handful of positive, supportive people on my side).
What’s The Worst That Can Happen?
Now, not only am I questioning old stories that pop up and try to hold me back, but I take it one step further and ask myself:
WHAT’S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?
And once I think about it, the absolute worst possible thing that could happen is…
Me not putting myself out there and always wondering what if?!
I don’t want to live my life always wondering, ‘What if?’ What if I had done this? What if I had done that? I already lived a lot of my life with fear running my decisions. I’ve overcome that (well, okay, I’m still working on overcoming it—it’s an ongoing process!), but there’s no way in hell I’m going to start living by what if and wondering about what could have happened if I had just done it.
Case in point…
Open Casting Call For Plus Size Models
I put myself out there in the biggest, scariest way ever. I stepped so far out of my comfort zone that I didn’t even know how to find my way back to it! 😉
I decided to attend an open casting call for plus-size models for a 2019 spring fashion show!
Whoa! Hold up! What?
Yep, you read that right. I attended an open casting call for plus-size models!
The day of the casting call I had myself talked out of going at one point but then I just kept thinking if you don’t go you’re going to feed quarters to that ass kicking machine constantly wondering “what if”. And there may have been a very special text message from the boyfriend that made me feel like yeah I got this, I can do this:
So I went.
I was nervous as all get out but the what if of not knowing if I could have possibly been chosen as a model pushed me to just freaking go for it!
I went back and forth with two different outfits, finally deciding on the green shirt:
At the casting call, I met some amazing (and oh my lord beautiful!) women. I laughed a ton, talked a lot, smiled non stop and just had fun. As I waited my turn to walk the “runway” (a makeshift one they had set up) I got really nervous again but just reminded myself to just be me! Finally, #25 was called…
I smiled. I talked. I laughed and smiled some more! The judges were wonderful and put me at ease. I may not have known what I was doing but I felt confident. I felt sexy. I felt powerful.
When I was done, I went on Facebook and did a live video (and hey I should get some brownie points for doing that too because I DON’T do live video! lol) sharing how freaking excited I was at what I had just done. I also shared that I would be ‘torturing’ myself for the next week, re-running everything over in my head (did I smile enough, did I walk tall enough, did I show my personality enough, etc.) waiting to hear back. We were told that they would pick the models and let everyone know, one way or the other, next week.
Well, guess what?
I didn’t have to wait a week! I was emailed at 6:51am the very next morning….
What? Holy Shit! I was CHOSEN! I was one of their chosen models! I will be walking in a fashion show as a freaking MODEL in May! Talk about kick ass and a dream coming true… all simply because I showed up as myself and put myself out there.
And that my friends is exactly what living my big, bold, shining life is all about – showing up as myself and putting myself out there.
I leave you with this…
The next time you are holding yourself back from doing something, ask yourself, ‘what’s the worst that can happen?’ and then just do it and be open to the possibilities 🙂
