(This post originally appeared on my old site, shiningself.com)
I walked the runway as a plus-size model!
I still feel like squealing when I say that.
I still can’t stop looking at pictures from that night, just a few short weeks ago!
And I’ll never forget how sassy, sexy, empowered & confident I felt in my body…
My plus size fat body. Taking up space.
To go from, not even a year ago, when I HATED my body and was still stuck in the yo/yo ball of dieting, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, etc. to strutting down the runway… Well, I think that’s pretty damn powerful, brave, bold and truly embracing my shining self and living my best life.
Yep, I’m totally bragging on myself and feeling like a bad ass for putting myself out there that night back in January when I showed up, excited but nervous as all get out, to that open casting call for plus size models. I didn’t want to wonder “what if” the rest of my life so putting myself out there and feeling uncomfortable was the only option I saw. And it ended up being the best choice ever!
Kidding aside – I don’t do this to brag on myself. I do this – this blog, the new things I try, loving my body, and sharing the journey on social media because it’s all a part of being the best version of me.
I share out of excitement and to show you and the rest of the world…
- It’s ok to take up space in a fat body (or any body that people tell you is not accepted).
- It’s ok to love myself even though society says I shouldn’t because my body doesn’t fit their ideal “norm”.
- It’s ok to wear what I want – covering my body doesn’t make me any less fat!
- It’s ok to dance – even if everything wiggles and jiggles.
- It’s ok to hike – even if I go slow.
- It’s ok to pole dance – even if my big body is awkward and doesn’t move as freely or easily as some smaller bodies.
- It’s ok to go to the beach – all bodies are beach bodies!
- It’s ok to model – all bodies are beautiful!
- It’s ok to own my voice.
- It’s ok to be bold & live life out loud.
- It’s ok to do whatever I want (well, within reason of course lol)
- …and so many more reasons!
Being reminded why what I do is so important and why I’m so passionate about all this
A few nights before the fashion show I was volunteering behind the scenes of the consignment event and had to talk to one of the gals that helps put the fashion show on about the shoes I would wear with my formal dress. There was a gal standing nearby as the lady and I were chatting about outfit/shoes. And I had a meltdown. I told her we could look for a different outfit (she still needed someone to model a workout outfit or business casual) for me to wear on the runway as the tears rolled down my face.
I had tried the formal wear dress on again the night before and suddenly I was more nervous about that outfit than the other 2 I’d be walking in. I don’t really know why I had the thoughts I did but as I stood looking in the mirror I told myself “you’re not pretty enough to wear this”, “you don’t deserve to feel like a princess” (that’s what I felt like when I tried the dress on).
She hugged me, told me not to cry, that I looked amazing in that dress and was going to rock it.
As I was walking away, the gal standing nearby got my attention, asked if she could hug me and said:
“thank you for doing this! You’re doing this for me and every other plus size woman out there. I want to see more bodies like me on the runway!”
And those words hit me like a ton of bricks. By me living my best life, putting myself out there, others are being encouraged, finding hope and inspiration to find their true shining self so they can live their best lives too.
And those words suddenly made things right in my world again.
And then a few days later, I walked the runway… (click images & they’ll open full size)
I had to be at the venue at 2pm for hair/make-up. There were a lot of models so it’s not surprising they were running behind and I didn’t mind; it was fun getting to hang and chat with the other models who were already there! And the wait was so worth it – my gal did an amazing job transforming me into one hot momma! (Pic below isn’t best lightning and my hair wasn’t done yet…)
The gal who did my make-up also ended up doing my hair too and the full affect was stunning…
Then it was time to rock n’ roll…
My first walk I was so nervous I was shaking as I walked the runway and could barely break a smile the nerves were so bad my lips were quivering!
My second walk was freaking AMAZING! I strutted my stuff in a fun, flirty, flowery bathing suit (that I now own – I fell so in love with it I just had to buy it!).
And the third walk… I was on fire! I felt like a princess. I felt unstoppable. And I had to throw a little sassy in there too 😉
And then I had the honor of walking with the Curvy Chic Closet founder Becky.
Final thoughts on walking the runway as a plus size model
It’s not every day I get celebrated for my size. In fact, usually the opposite. But for one night I got to listen to cheers, praises, clapping, and support for my body. It was the most amazing feeling ever. To feel that much positivity, love and empowerment is a feeling I’ll never forget.
To say that I loved modeling is an understatement! I felt like I owned that runway and was feeling pure joy, happiness, and essence! The smile on my face in these pictures show that. (The first picture I’m the one in the background high fiving a lady in the audience who was a ton of fun all night long! The second pic I’m the first one on the step).
So it’s not surprising that I’m NOT so patiently waiting to hear when open casting call for Curvy Chic’s Fall fashion show is because you can bet your booty I’ll be there! It’s so much more than wearing cute clothes and feeling like a princess though – it’s the friendships that have been made, the family I feel like I am now a part of. The camaraderie, love, support and encouragement of all the models blew me away and I want more of it!
And I can’t forget to give credit where credit is due – those who made me look great on the runway 🙂
Hair/Make-up: Elizabeth Little
Designers: Mary Rose NW Boutique, Catherine’s & Curvy Chic Closet
Photographer: Hal Harrison – Rose City Photography, Amber Torres, Daryl Johnson
Event: Curvy Chic Closet 2019 Fall Event
