This post originally appeared on my old site, ShiningSelf.com, in September 2023.
I’m so over society’s body standards and the damage they’ve done with the narrative that thin is beautiful and if we just lose weight all our problems will be solved & we’ll live amazing, happy lives! 🤬
Newsflash – it doesn’t work that way! I know because I lived that way for YEARS.
In fact, I was killing myself trying to make myself thin – from fad diets to diet pills (and emergency room visits because of them), and then bulimia (that I just sought help for 2 years ago) I’ve done it. And at my thinnest, I was my unhappiest & unhealthiest.
I was screaming on the inside – tired of not being able to look in a full-length mirror because I hated my body that much, tired of the fat-shaming (medical professionals included), and most of all tired of continually trying to take up as little space as possible both physically & in other ways because I wasn’t supposed to exist… in a fat body. 🫤
2018 was a pivotal point in my life. I ditched diet culture. Threw the scale away. Was given “permission” to take up space just as I was… fat & all. 2019 was my “coming out” moment – I stepped out onto the runway as a plus-size model “screaming” to the world ‘eff you – this is my body & if you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine. I won’t shrink anymore because you’re uncomfortable with my fatness. I’m enough just as I am.’
It was from that moment on I decided it was time to change the narrative & start inspiring and empowering women to accept their bodies, radiate confidence, and take up space unapologetically – just as they are! And it all starts with one small but mighty step – picking just ONE thing you like about your body today & showing love & appreciation to it. Then when you’re ready, move on and choose one more thing about your body you like – keep going until you’ve went through and chosen to like each and everything about your body.
I rounded up some beautiful women and asked them to share with me: What is the ONE thing you choose to like about your body TODAY? Why?
Here’s what they had to say…
Tracy Eng: My Smile
I chose my smile because we are both a work in progress. I have been through 5 surgeries on my mouth in the last year. The last surgery in May removed eleven teeth and put in eleven implants and several bone grafts. My smile is a bit shaky; it has significant gaps with no teeth, just a few silver parts showing at the gum line. Most people will stare, judge, or think you have a drug problem because you have no teeth. I have several autoimmune diseases that have led to many dental difficulties. So this smile represents the strength to do what I needed for my health and still smile about it even if I don’t have teeth! – Tracy from Whimsy Days.
Jo Milgrew: My Breasts
I not only like, but I love my breasts. My breasts make me feel confident and beautiful in my own skin. I love the way they look, and they are part of who I am. Having breasts has allowed me to express myself because they give me a sense of confidence and self-worth. It is an empowering feeling that helps me remember that being a woman is something special and worth celebrating every day.
We all have things we like about our bodies and the bodies of people around us. For example, some people like muscular physiques, some like angular bodies and some people like particular physical attributes like delicate hands or graceful necks. I love abundant bodies, both male and female. I admire anyone with the confidence to show who they are, whatever their size, shape and age. I think it would be such fun if we could all have a “let it all hang out” day and be truly uninhibited about what we wear – or don’t wear. A carnival of self-expression where we can all feel empowered. -Jo, a Dog Trainer
Erica Gandy Grant: My eyes
I love this self-reflection. We are so quick to point out our imperfections. Today, I’m shining a spotlight on my eyes! Not just because they’re the windows to the soul, but for their playful, expressive charm that speaks even when I remain silent. Their playful twinkles, knowing glances, and soulful stares can tell a story without me uttering a single word. In a world filled with voices, my eyes are my favorite way to whisper.
I chose my eyes because, in groups, I’m often quiet because I’m a bit shy. But even when I don’t talk much, my eyes are always busy. They look at people, share a joke, or even give a comforting look. My eyes ensure I’m present, engaged, and contributing in conversations. My eyes have this special way of chatting, even when I’m silent. -Erica from Moms On The Grow
Conni: My Eyes
As the saying goes, the eyes are the window to the soul and I know mine are. I have beautiful big eyes that speak of my emotions. I wish I didn’t have to wear glasses so that they’d be more easily seen! They show when I am listening intently, when I’m empathizing, when I’m sad. When I’m happy they are hard to see because they crinkle up so much. When I was young they were a rich, dark brown like my grandfather’s. As I’ve aged they’ve lost pigment until they are mostly a warm green like my mother’s. And they are surrounded by crow’s feet that show years of smiles and happiness. My eyes tell so much of who I am, and I love who I am. -Conni from ConniLeFon.com
Kelly McCausey: My Arms
All my life I have loved my toes. A cute guy told me I had ‘cute little sausage toes’ when I was 17 LOL!
Now, the rest of my body – I’ve struggled with. I have a big chest, so there’s always been a lot of appreciation there. It doesn’t mean a lot to me though.
What I CHOOSE to like about my body today are my arms.
Having been close to 400 at one point and losing 100, they are quite flabby and saggy. The skin is never going to shrink so I could get really bummed about it as I continue to take better care of myself. If I do focus on what I can’t change, I’m going to be miserable.
I decided a few years ago that I wouldn’t hide my arms anymore. I like to wear tank tops and dresses and I DO. What other people think about my arms is none of my business and if I do happen to notice someone looking, I smile a little. I know that they may judge me, but if they do – its about them. Not me. Every time I can be free to move around in this body without a bunch of shit about it, I am happier. -Kelly from Me Skills
Pam Hamilton: My Face
The one thing I love about my body right now is my face, particularly my smile. And that was a challenge to me for the longest time because I have a moustache that I haven’t been able to get rid of. Everything I tried just made it thicker and more noticeable. It was a losing battle. Today I love my face and my smile and even my moustache. It’s all a part of who I am.
For years when I was learning to love and fully accept me as I was, the only remotely positive thing I could think to say was “This is my body.” I couldn’t even say it served me well because it was too painful to walk, move around or sometimes even to sit-up after the car accident and the fibromyalgia had set in. But, I could still smile. And, my smile could still light up a room and bring joy to my wife and son on any given day. So I started there. I choose to love my smile and the stupid moustache.
Lol! It’s a journey! it took a little longer to love the moustache and not call it stupid or worse. 🙂
Now-a-days, I love me period. Of course, I would still love to get back to the pre-accident days for a host of reasons. And so I often say my body is still under renovation. I love it as is, and I also see the potential of what’s its becoming as the pain decreases, and I love that too. Often we’re made to feel like we have to choose one or the other, to stay fat and be happy with it, or to be fat and miserable on one diet after another trying to become thin. The truth, though, is you really don’t have to. You can just be yourself and be happy where you are and wherever that takes you. That’s the option I choose everyday and it keeps a smile on my face. -Pam from Building Visibility
Jennifer Burke: My Hair
Hah it’s maybe my one true vanity. I have good hair and I like how my style works with my face. I gladlly pay for an awesome stylist who has become a friend, over the 15+ years I’ve been with her. My first appointment after lockdown ended, get my hair done!
Mind you, I don’t have any styling tools or fancy things at home! I do pay for good shampoo but 80% of the time I end up pulling it back.
I just feel more confident because I like how my hair is. -Jennifer from Mighty Marketing Mojo
Susan: My Hair
I’ve always gotten a lot of compliments on my hair, so that has made me feel better when I’m feeling bad about my weight. My hair was naturally curly my whole life but has changed a bit as I’ve gotten older. It has become a bit thinner and less curly — more wavy — and of course gray. Therefore, I’ve invested in myself and found an excellent hair specialist who colors and cuts it every five weeks so I can maintain it nicely. I’ve been seeing her for more than 10 years and it’s something that is non-negotiable because my hair is something that makes me feel good about myself:)
I got my hair done this week for a special occasion next week and it looks sooooooo good! I’m super happy and it makes me feel good about myself! Your mindset is so important to happiness, peace, and success. No one is ever perfect, so we all need to focus on our positive attributes and character traits to embrace our sass and confidence. -Susan from Sassy Sister Stuff
Me (Tish, Your Body Positive Fairy Godmother): My Stomach
Today, as I reflect on my journey of body acceptance and self-love, I choose to embrace and celebrate my belly! It has expanded and contracted, stretched and transformed.
With its softness, jiggles & stretch marks, it carries the imprint of joyful meals shared with friends & loved ones. It carried and nurtured a tiny big (my kiddo weighed in at a whopping 9 lbs. 13 ounces & was 21 1/2 inches long…not to mention 11 days overdue also!) life within for nine months – a reminder of the incredible things my body can do.
I choose to love and cherish all that my belly represents, for it is an integral part of who I am, and its story deserves to be celebrated!
Today, I want to leave you with this…
It’s time for women to say “screw it” to the unrealistic and harmful body/beauty standards that society has imposed on us for far too long. Instead, it’s time to celebrate the beauty of our curves, wrinkles, scars, and imperfections, for they tell our stories! It’s time to choose self-love & acceptance, to ditch the notion we’re not enough. It’s time to rewrite the narrative of what it means to be beautiful and to embrace the diversity of every shape, and size. It’s time to choose to love ourselves just as we are, for we are each uniquely beautiful and deserving of that love and acceptance. And my Love Your Body, Love Yourself: A 21 Day Self-Love and Body Acceptance Journey journal is the perfect tool to do just that! 💗
